Bad days

I've had a hard time the last couple of days. I haven't been working out because of work, mostly, and in my head I look SO much bigger. My belly, as always, is the focus of my anxiety. It looks so much rounder, and even now I am worrying over whether or not to have any popcorn tonight. I haven't had any carbs today, but I've eaten TONS of fats.
Honestly, this is one of those days when I wrestle with my desire to plan tomorrow's meals as follows: Breakfast-banana, Lunch-boca patty, dinner-salad. Which is exactly why I WILL go make some popcorn. Because I can't give in to that temptation.
I hate the fact that J and my plans to go out tomorrow contribute to the food and weight anxiety, rather than making me happy. Instead of looking forward to it, I am freaking out about how much I eat tonight, because it will affect how big I look tomorrow, and what I can wear. I don't want to have to dress frumpy because I feel fat. I am also worrying about how I will fit in a workout in the morning, so that I will feel semi-okay about eating a restaurant dinner.
I'm playing phone tag with the therapist I want to see. Ugh.